I thought that we were meant to be
You took my heart and made it bleed
I gave you all my ecstasy
I know you’ll be the death of me
Your love is suicidal
Juice Wrld (Song: Suicidal)
Catch up on other episodes here before knowing the end : Episode 4, Episode 3, Episode 2, Episode 1
But… One day Z stated something that J couldn’t process at all. She said “J, there is no one in this world who can love me more than my boyfriend.” J couldn’t take it. This comparison between the boyfriend and J made him furious. J thought how can Z even think like that. According to him she doesn’t know how much he loved her. There existed a guy for Z who was ready to give her everything, wanted to spend all the time with her, who could sacrifice anything for her to make her happy. But her statement pinched every bit of J’s heart. When J got to know that Z doesn’t understand how much he was giving himself to her that’s when J realized that he was losing himself. Z had only known about his confession and nothing else that J did.
I just can’t stop laughing. This is a love triangle.
J never felt that Z’s boyfriend was his competitor. Ever. But the fact that Z thought only her boyfriend could love her that much, haunts him till now. He is unable to accept it till date. J really wanted Z to know the entire thing. He didn’t know what to do! Every time he confessed, he blocked her (laughing emojis). He didn’t have the balls to talk to her after that.
Once he asked Z “Why do u tell me all your personal stuff? Don’t you think I will take advantage of this and try to make you mine?” (As if it were that easy, laughing emojis). Z replied “See J if things don’t work out with my boyfriend I am never making this mistake of committing to someone again.” (Literally every girl after one breakup). This line made J feel like ‘the mistake’. J made her happy in all possible ways and all she did, was call it ‘another mistake’. J questioned himself. Was he not worth it? Couldn’t she accept him as her boyfriend? Still he can’t figure it out. All J wanted from Z was not just a friend but a partner too.
The reason why J told me this story was because he always regretted that Z couldn’t know about it. So he decided to preserve it in the history of blogs. J told me what he wanted to hear from Z and I want to say it out loud. He wanted Z to say “J, I love you so much I really do. But since I already have chosen a man I can’t be with you now. If it wouldn’t have been him it would have been you for sure.”
This was it! One of them is living their happily ever after and the other one is still coping. The love triangle is always a fail unless one of them is food. Hence proved (laughing emojis).
Now what I feel about this whole situation is this:
One thing is a fact that Z is very lucky to have two guys who love her this much. But there can never be a comparison between them. Both of their love is unique in its own way. Maybe this time Z chose her boyfriend and in another life J will get a chance. I am a firm believer of the fact that what is meant to be yours will be yours no matter what. Also Z had been with that guy longer than she had been with J. She didn’t get to experience the love J could have given to her.
On the other side even J doesn’t know about how much that guy loves her. So without knowing both the sides we can never judge. Lastly we can’t ignore the reality. For anyone who’s going through this and has stumbled upon my blog I just want to tell you – you deserve someone who loves the shit out of you and you deserve to give all your love to someone who cares far more than someone who doesn’t. Sometimes you can love someone and still you have to let them go to protect yourself from shattering.
And about the crazy monologue J wants to hear from Z, I think is not possible (ethically). You can only love one person more, at a time. If Z loves her boyfriend she can’t love J in the same way. According to me he shouldn’t tell her all this. To any guy or girl who is in this situation, I want to say – please don’t tell them, if their happiness is your priority. The moment you confess, that person will break coz they wouldn’t know how to keep you close yet distant. I know you might feel better for a while but you might regret it later. For the right person your love will always be sufficient. Sometimes the person you need is the person you are best without.
It will heal. Just give it some time.
This story is gonna be a secret from Z forever. But I hope you guys liked it. I spilt my entire jar of humour in it. And I hope you found the story worth the hype I created. I know this wasn’t a Happy Ending but this just means that the story isn’t over yet (winky face).
Until next time, Adiós amigos.
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