This is what our parents expect from us.
My brother just came back after giving his second last exam. He is giving his semester exams. I called him in my room to ask how his exam was and when he slept last night. He had 3 days to prepare for this exam and he started his preparation last night. That’s pretty typical for a college student but not for my parents.
He said he slept at 5.30 in the morning and then woke up at 6.30 to get ready for the exam. The best part is that when I asked him about his preparation, he said that he completed 3 out of 5 units from the syllabus last night. That’s impressive, if you ask me!
All this reminded me of the time when I was at my graduation and just like him, I used to memorize an entire book a couple of days before the exam. I used to get so focused that nothing in this world could distract me. Sure, I used to still scroll on social media for a while, but I used to go back to studying once my break time was over.
That is the kind of discipline my parents are looking for in me. Today, it hit me that this is the type of dedication that they want from me every day. They just can’t see me slacking off and wasting my time. By studying so religiously, I have raised their expectations as well as mine.
But the main question is, how do I tell them that the standard I’ve set for myself is unachievable on normal days? Maybe the pressure of that situation drives me nuts and I start outperforming myself. Or maybe I’m afraid that if I work like that daily, I will be burned out very easily. My parents have seen me get good at this kind of behavior.
It might feel like I’m just giving you an explanation for being lazy, but don’t you relate to this? In some situations, our animal instincts kick in and we get into survival mode. For me, exams were that situation. Only when my respect is at stake will I be able to perform in that way. As far as normal days are concerned, even I can’t fathom how I did what I did. It’s like some supernatural version of me takes over.
I know that ultimately, even I want to be that version of me because that will be the sole reason for my success. But I’m scared of that version because it is ruthless, doesn’t want any distractions around it, will not give importance to anything other than the one task in hand and will not stop until the given task is complete. This version is a warrior who does not accept defeat as a result. This version of me knows nothing about balance and my parents won’t like it.
I’m realizing this is literally the definition of being ambitious. And it’s crazy that even though I have proved to myself that I have it in me, I still don’t perform like this willingly. For me, articulating all this isn’t silly. It’s a reality check that you might also need. Take a moment and remind yourself of the time when you performed so well in something that you took yourself by surprise.
Everyone has one such moment where they feel impressed by their efforts. And that is actually the motivation that you should be looking for. It’s YOU. You have already achieved a version of yourself that you are proud of. We just have to find that person within us and replicate it for the rest of our lives. I know it is going to be hectic and difficult but if this is what it takes, I’m down. Are you with me?
Until next time, Adios amigo!
I understand the perspective my parents have better now that I am in my mid-twenties. My father’s unique approach to life really resonates with me. You can read about it HERE!
