Why is giving up control so hard?
I’ve been thinking of starting a podcast with either my brother or my cousin. I like having structure in my life, so the moment I pitched this idea, a to-do list started forming in my head. Out of which, 8 out of 10 tasks were assigned to me, and I’m not good at letting go of control of my project.
Now I can think of two reasons for this: first, the feeling of doing enough and being responsible because I am asking someone to collaborate with me on something. Proposing a collaborative project triggered my sense of responsibility. If I’m pulling someone into my creative whirlwind, shouldn’t I handle most of the workload? It’s the classic case of trying to make up for daring to seek collaboration.
And second, being too afraid of the fact that “what if it isn’t exactly how I thought it would turn out?” What if the podcast doesn’t match the grand vision in my mind? What if it strays from the perfect script I’ve envisioned? Control, or at least the idea of it, becomes my safety net against the uncertainties that come with working together.
As I mull over this, the idea of booking a therapist crosses my mind. Is this a result of past traumas, a lingering need to be ‘perfect’ all the time? Maybe. Or maybe it’s time for a friendly reminder that perfection is just a myth. The real beauty of collaborating is in the spontaneous dance of ideas, unscripted and wild.
So, do I need therapy? Well, that’s still up for debate. But for now, I’m embracing the discomfort, letting go of some control, and allowing the podcast journey to unfold, bumps and surprises included. After all, whether therapy is involved or not, life has a knack for teaching us its quirky lessons. 😄✨
Until next time, Adios amigo!
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