Me and My… Life as an Indian Daughter (Part-2)

No one told us to stop it

Called us unrealistic

Then suddenly you’re eighteen

Go to college for your Plan B

What you want is too risky

Lily Meola (Song: Daydream)

Day before yesterday my mom was extremely upset about something. You know how Indian mothers are right! Every few days they hit you with the classic “I’m Done with everything, I just want to leave this planet” (honestly same (laughing emojis)). Seeing my mom in such a low state, not only ruined my day but also made me realize something. As a child, I am working to make my parents happy. But when my mom here wants to “leave the planet”, what am I supposed to do? It made me question my purpose too. It was at this time that I understood that such a simple statement from our parents can affect us so much. So it triggered me to get past the superficial life, and step into the BLESSED and more RESPONSIBLE life of an Indian Daughter. Check out Part-1 if you haven’t already!

For starters, just the sight of your parents in tension or worrying about something makes you take an oath to solve that problem. And when you are the elder daughter, you don’t waste a second, thinking about the impact of your actions. You just search for solutions to see a smile on their face. Most of the scenarios that I am stating here today are actually quite general. Elder Indian kids have a tendency to step into their parents shoes on their own. We don’t even take the responsibilities as a burden, we just KNOW that we have to GET THE SHIT DONE. 

It’s like my mom always says, “We have raised you with all our time and effort so that now you can lead by example for your younger sibling.” And I feel this too. I am a shield for my younger brother. I am willing to move the world if needed, just to protect him from the smallest inconvenience. I’m sitting here laughing and thinking “When the hell did I sign up for this unasked parenting? Why do I have to practice all this, years before the actual deed?” 

 

This is how I imagine myself when I protect my brother- Nayan the Knight (laughing emojis)

Although instinctively you just start to show them the right path and you stand beside them to protect them. I have taken the responsibility to make my parents “cooler”. This way my brother doesn’t have to deal with the old school thinking. And now all the conversations my parents want to have with my brother, I approve them first. I filter and convert that conversation into something the Gen-Z would find appealing and then it reaches my brother. 

Twenty three years of being on this earth, I have realized that my first response to every problem that my parents bring to notice, is to “STEP UP”. Being an elder daughter, you learn not to run from tough situations. You stand there and face them, like a badass. You also develop “so much patience” dealing with everything and keeping things together. And if the load of the family reputation isn’t enough you also have to carry forward every family tradition. 

As a daughter, you won’t need to explain the financial condition of the house to me. The stress in the dad’s voice and the guilt of refusing our demands in our mom’s heart make it evident. I can catch signals from my parents more accurately than the traffic police on duty. Daughters automatically stop making unreasonable requests so that our parents don’t feel the pressure of fulfilling all our demands.

Is it just me or have you also noticed that the moment you are happy or ‘smiling too much’, people can’t take it. They start asking, “Why are you so happy?” or “Ya Ya stay happy while you are at your parents house”. I get so frustrated by these comments coz they basically mean that life after marriage is gonna be so bad, that you won’t get a chance to be happy. With the obsession of getting their daughter married, this is a pretty negative way to promote marriage according to me (laughing emojis).   

I can’t even count the number of times I have got lectures from EVERYBODY on how it’s my responsibility to take care of everything. Everybody keeps telling me the secrets to keep the family together and the recipes I should know how to cook. I even get a class on etiquettes I should have when I meet someone elder to me, whereas my brother can just stand there and say “What’s up uncle”. 

DAD’s here to save us from everything!

I am waiting eagerly for the time when I get some sit-down sessions on how to file taxes, how to invest, how to buy your first home, how to get your dream car, how to be responsible for your finances, how to NOT NEED ANYONE TO DO MY WORK, etc. This list can go on forever. But I have realized that things need to change around here. I have decided to take things into my hands and ask questions. If I don’t ask I will definitely not receive. You too should just go for it. As Kris Jenner says “If you get NO for an answer, you are asking the wrong person. Never take no for an answer.” 

At the end of the day, I feel blessed to be a daughter who can take the load off of her parent’s shoulders. In fact every elder child can feel this and I promise you, this sense of pride is unreal. The responsibility and the love we receive from our parents is more than enough because they are literally ready to give us the world after giving us their life. We can’t deny the fact that one day when we decide to live on our own or with our partners, this training we have received till now, will be our guide for the rest of our life. 

I have developed the thickest (thicc like that juicy ass, sorry not sorry (smirk emoji)) skin for negativity. Knowing that my parents have prepared me for literally everything, makes me feel free and independent. And I know no matter how old we get, they will always know what’s going on behind our silent faces. I respect my parents a lot and I know you do too. So let’s do one thing, get up and hug them right now. If they aren’t around, text them or call them. Just thank them for everything they have done for you, coz we don’t do that often.

It’s time to payback with LOVE and Respect

Okkkk my brother is shouting in his room because he can’t find colored sheets. He has to finish a file and submit it tomorrow. Guess who is there with him to save the day! Ya right. BRB

Until next time, Adios Amigos.

 

 

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