Me and My… Life as an Indian Daughter (Part-1)

One thing to keep in mind is that we take the word of our fathers very seriously. Like anyone can tell me something a thousand times and I still might doubt it. But if my father says it to me even once – IT’S A FACT now and noone can tell me otherwise. This is not just a hoax, I have had experiences where my father knew exactly what I am capable of. My dad used to take me to exam centers and then wait outside till the exam was over. As soon as I used to come out of the exam hall, he would look at me and examine. Then he would tell me how I must have performed. And as you can guess by now, the judgement was 99% spot on.

Storytime

I have a white board in my room. The day when I was going to get my 12th grade results, early in the morning he wrote my marks. He anticipated how much I would get in every subject on that board. I wake up, look at those marks and laugh a little thinking this can never be true. But I kid you not, my marks were almost exactly what he wrote, except for one subject in which he thought I would have scored better and I didn’t. That day marked the fact that no one knows me better than my father.

Yup, that’s how accurate he was. How can I not trust his instinct?

When it comes to maintaining a house, Indian daughters can be found practicing from a very young age. I have been helping mom in the kitchen since I was in 6th grade. Unlike my younger brother who only started bringing the Utensils for dinner since 10th grade. I have a blueprint in my mind of where EVERYTHING is kept in our house. Because if my mom asks me for something and by chance I don’t know about it, I’M DONE (laughing emojis).

Also not to forget, we are rarely asked to go out at night for any work. Even like getting ice cream or anything that we forgot for the school project. Now that I am 23 it’s a blessing, coz you already know that the energy level is in negative as the day ends (laughing emojis). Literally yesterday, my brother and dad both refused to go out to buy vegetables for the next day. So my mom and I had to go. As soon as we stepped out, my mom said “With your dad and brother around, why are we going out of the house at 9 PM?” She was dead serious (blank face emoji).

Yup, this is a double edged sword. You don’t know whether you should be happy that you don’t have to work at night or sad about the missed night outs because “Girls aren’t allowed to go out at night” (the sad part also includes you don’t even have to be Indian for this).

The next job that I do, as an elder sister in the house, are the school projects. Who knows, Indian parents might be taking advantage of a girl’s creativity and precision in work (can’t help it, we are born this way (emoji with the black shades)). Like I have made my projects, my brother’s projects (of course that’s my duty, duhh), my mom’s school projects (she is a teacher), my mom’s brother’s daughter’s projects and also the small amendments in the house that require creativity. Don’t get me wrong I’m not mad about this (maybe I am coz why TF did I have to spend my life making projects for everyone, ohh maybe because we aren’t allowed to say NO), it just seems to be the set notion. 

OMG how can I forget- Praying or being religious. A girl of this household HAS TO KNOW the rules of praying. This also includes all the rituals and traditional procedures on every festival. And the fact is, religion is a prevalent part of the Indian culture. It’s the most beautiful part of our culture and I love it. Like my mom tells my brother too, but he just shrugs off and leaves. But here I am, doing it all (#proud). Again no complaints, just an observation. 

That’s a small temple in my house with all the God figurines.

Maybe this is all because our parents know that one day we will marry someone. One day we will live with our partner and their parents. So whatever our moms are doing in our house, we will have to do it in our future home. I get it, a lot of things that I wrote here might be from the embedded misogyny in the household. But a lot of it is also from what our parents have seen and learnt since their childhood. All I am grateful for is their urge to teach their child everything. To empower and make their daughter the self-sufficient woman she is supposed to be.

The “woke and modern” Me definitely cringes when I think about the above explanation coz why am I supposed to do everything? But deep down it makes me feel STRONG. For anyone who feels like I do, I want to remind you that you are the chosen ones. The Universe gives responsibilities to those who can handle them and who can trust the circumstances. Our society today has glamorized being a CEO and taking over world. But then why are home makers demeaned? Everyone is not the same. One girl might love sitting in her office taking the lead, the other might love spending time with her family and cooking for them. Some might love launching a blog and ranting about life (laughing emojis). These things just makes me realize that I am capable of doing so many things at once, coz women have been doing this since ages.

If they PERSISTED, we can too!

For the older generation the women had to juggle and maintain a peaceful house, their families, the food. In this generation, we are focusing on our mental health, the societal norms and the expectations. We have always been fighting, just for different things though. Generations of women have fought for a time that we have now, the least we can do is FIGHT FOR OURSELVES. For some, this might be regressive, but I think we have a hidden power. We know how far we can push ourselves. And who said you have to tell anyone about this? If you want the people around you to work for you, go for it (winky face).

You don’t have to be an Indian to channel your strength and will power (it’s a plus point if you are, coz then we can grow this community and a meet and greet won’t be a problem, kiss emoji), because I’m sure everyone has a story that they can find inspiration from. Part-1 of the blog is kinda superficial (won’t lie, I agree) and I want to dive deeper into this topic. So carry your tissues and eyedrops, coz things are about to get emotional in the next part.

Until next time, Adios amigos.

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