They tell me I’m too young to understand
They say I’m caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes
Well that’s fine by meAvicii (Song: Wake me up)
There isn’t one. Thank you all for coming to my blog, see you at the next one (laughing emojis). Kiddinggg! Stay right here. It doesn’t feel like it though. The society and the people around me have raised their expectations and it’s becoming difficult to transition into being an adult.
And let’s be honest, with Indian parents around it’s difficult to step into adulting. Their heart stops when you ask them “Can I move away from home and live on my own?” But they will constantly ask you to “grow up” when you are with them. But I have to agree, since my 21st birthday I have been feeling this weight of becoming a better daughter. I have ranted enough in Part 1 and Part 2 in my Life of an Indian daughter blog series.
Serious question though: Where do adults find help?
Suddenly waking up to fill the R.O. at 6 in the morning, even when I had slept at 4 A.M. seems like a duty. Getting up randomly in the middle of the night to lock the main door that your mother had asked you to, knowing that you will be dead if you forgot, seems like a responsibility. Filling up the water bottles without being asked to, dusting around the house and making sure things are in place are some tasks that are permanently added to my to do list now.
I know for some of you this is strange because you have been doing it since childhood. I have never been asked to do all this. But after I passed out from school this work was expected from me. And now giving my parents medicines when they are sick and asking them what I can do to make their day better is the highlight of my day.
This isn’t even an exaggeration anymore. My white board has more tasks written on it than songs in my playlist (sobbing emojis)
This also includes the long list of tasks my mom hands me. Considering I offered her help and this happens once in a blue moon, she has to take advantage of these opportunities (laughing emojis). Taking care of younger siblings is an unassigned task that is meant for us. This includes giving them food whenever they ask for it, spying on them at all times to check what’s going on in their life, tolerating their tantrums and getting yelled at in spite of doing all this.
When mom started to share the family drama with me I knew I had grown up- from a young girl to a woman. I knew I had grown up when my dad stopped telling me what to do. Don’t mistake it for not having to follow any rules in the house, it is still “their house”, we are just “Guests” (laughing emojis).
It’s time for TEA!
This just makes me realize how quickly time passed, coz there was once a time when I went to my mom for a hug and now she comes in for a hug. The 15 year old me wanted to grow up so bad and now the 23 year old me wants to be a child again. Being 23 and at a stage where you have taken your degree and not doing a job, is almost a sin. Because following your passion requires time, patience and support.
Parents can only do so much. So their constant nagging goes on forever. I still get to hear everyday that I’m still a zero and have wasted my degree and money and time that went into it. There are days where you have the peace to go past such comments from your loved ones, but the rest of the days they just attack your demons. Your brain and your patience lose it. Adulting seems to be fun until you actually have to do it.
It’s hard, it’s really is!
Another thing that really hits hard in adulting is our parent’s feelings. I have started to care about what they say and why they say things. As a child I had always felt that they were against me. But now even when they scold me, I take a step back and analyze. Experience has taught me that they are not always wrong and they always want the good for us, no matter what.
Their way of expressing might be different than ours, but they always want the best for us. So the next time you want to be a rebel, take a second and think about what they say to you. Oftentimes they know you better than you know yourself. And if at times they aren’t able to convey what they feel, it’s our duty to make them feel heard.
Pretty damn realistic though
I didn’t expect this to become a teaching lesson but here we are (laughing emojis). But yeah, overall I know a child wants to become an adult badly but take it from an “adult”, you will miss your childhood as soon as you cross 20. The responsibilities, overthinking, fear of the future, expectations and mid life crisis take over way quicker than we can imagine.
My birthday wish at 23
Journal Time: I want you to sit down and rethink about the times where you overreacted to your parents’ scolding. I want you to journal about the times where they were right and you were wrong. It is important for us to start trusting our parents a little more, because even as so-called adults we can’t beat their years of experience. I also want you to write down how you want to be as an adult. And don’t beat around the bush by writing down the materialistic shit. The Chanel bag and the Jordans can wait. Write about the person who you want to become.
Until next time, Adios Amigos.
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