Cause shit like this don’t happen too often
It’s the way you put it down
I don’t want no one else around
Summer walker(Song: Come thru)
Okay…already warning you this topic will be a series for sure. (Laughing emojis) Coz I’m a freak for motivation. I hope how much I follow what I preach doesn’t count.
Although I didn’t think I would have to start with this person.
Storytime
I went to coaching in 2019 to study for the entrances for my masters. In January 2020, accidentally a pass out student from the coaching had come to discuss his preferences of colleges with the professor. He had cleared the exams for I think 3 or 4 most reputed ones. (Wow, I wish I had this dilemma in my life, where I had to choose between the best colleges (frowning face)). So our professor suggested talking to him, for some tips and motivation. I got his number and I followed him on Instagram (Yeah I’m that stalker girl). He was polite enough to text me and ask how my studies were going on. (Jokes on me, he must have thought I’m a studious girl) (several crying emojis)
Our first conversation shook me to the core, coz he ended up giving me a harsh reality check. FYI I want to pursue masters then PhD. When I told him that I don’t feel like studying. He said ” In that case, this field is not for you. You should probably change your career plans.”
I froze for a moment. Bruh, all my life I have thought about getting into this field. I know I can’t be a nerd but no one can tell me to change my path.
Once I asked him to tell me his timetable. I started “How many hours should I study per day?” He said “at least three hours a day”. Then I asked “at what time should“. His answer made it clear that he had had enough of me ( laughing emojis). He said “Are you a machine that you are expecting me to program everything into your mind? ” He laughed. But I thought about it seriously. Why do I need someone else to decide my time table? Have I lost faith in myself? Why am I trying to copy someone else’s routine? The questions were terrifying but I had to deal with them.
I had a chat with him a few days back and I told him that I have an entrance exam in a week and there are just 15 seats (around 10,000 students appear for this entrance). I told him that it is out of my reach. He said “With this attitude even if there were five hundred seats you won’t get the admission” (again I was shook).
You know when something happens and it just clicks like why have I been like this. It’s like you get motivation from the least expected circumstances or people. He was that source for me. He said even if there was one seat , that would have been for a student like you. Me being the hard core pessimist replied ” Yeah and that one student studies more than I have studied in my entire career.”
He said “Oh! So now you can look into someone’s life. You can see what they do and how they do it. Stop being the ‘the know it all’ and wasting time on all this. It would be better if you spend this time in studying. Downgrading yourself all the time, is not the attitude that will take you forward in life.” He gave me his pearls of motivation and left me with my thoughts.
I introspected and you know what, he was right. I have observed this throughout my life that people around me have more confidence in me than I have in myself. And clearly that’s a problem. I will have to stop self doubting and start working. I might get certain things done with a casual attitude but will I be able to achieve my dream like this? Probably no. But you know I don’t trust myself because I don’t do stuff that is essential for my goals. I need to stop thinking negative and sitting idle, rather I should study.
Isn’t it relatable that we always find excuses to not do things that we should! That is me right now.
Anyways let’s promise each other at this moment to stop being negative and taking a step forward to make our dream come true.
(also no value of Red Cross you gotta keep this promise forever)
Until next time, Adiós amigos.
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