No one’s more upset than a topper who is now failing.
I saw a reel that said the above line. Oh, my God. I don’t want to relate but I do. It just brought back a lot of memories and I feel extremely nostalgic. I am nowhere near as studious as I was before. And we can all agree on the fact that we are totally different versions of ourselves now.
I wasn’t really the topper but I was always in the top 4 of my class. I used to top in certain subjects but dipped in a few. Both my parents are working and my mom has been a teacher for 22 years now. This type of educational environment encourages a child to focus on their studies. And that’s exactly what I did. In school, I was always the teacher’s favorite and a bright kid. In my bachelors, things dropped a little but I still scored an 8 CGPA. In my masters too, I did pretty well.
The difference lies in the quality of the study. In school, I just studied because I loved learning new things. I was never eager to be the topper. I can call myself a nerd but not for a particular subject. I just get engrossed very easily. But then, in my higher studies, I was just studying to pass the exams and get the degree. I don’t know about you but I find this quite unfortunate.
I knew I could have done better and learned more, but I wanted to live life. I don’t regret even a single moment but I do wish it was easier to study now. To get into teaching, I must know the topics inside out. But now just studying for more than an hour is a big struggle. The topper kid in me is lashing out at me for becoming such a brat over time.
It’s frustrating because the 15-year-old Nayan was disciplined, listened to her parents, did what they said was right and hence reached a great level. But now that I’ve decided to become “independent,” do what “I think” is right; I’ll be honest, I’m not doing so well. I’m not the person I would like to be. But younger me is my motivation. I’m getting back to it. Small steps every day.
Until next time, Adios amigo!
One time in life when we were winning was our childhood. Everyone felt like a topper somewhere or the other. I go back to my childhood memories more than I want to. You can reminisce with me by reading THIS.
