Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Exactly 6 years ago today, I lost my grandfather because of blood cancer. I’m not in a very pleasant mood while I’m writing this. It’s midnight and I’m in the middle of a break down. Losing him was my first close encounter with death.
That’s my grandfather. It was the time when my dad got him this jacket and he came to show us.
I remember that day, every detail, every tear that fell from my eye. I was in 10th grade. It was 29th July 2015 and the festival of Eid. It was a holiday. Five in the morning I saw the lights turned on in my parents room and my mother was crying . Just the night before, we had found out that my grand dad was not well and anything could happen (he was admitted in the hospital). I woke up, saw my mom crying and closed my eyes again, just wishing that this was a bad dream and it would end. 10 minutes passed and tears started rolling down my eyes. I remember that at that time I just prayed that shouldn’t be what I think it is.
But I guess I wasn’t lucky enough. I stood up and my mom told me that we lost him. In India it is a tradition to bring the dead body home. People who are close to that person and the family mourn for some time and then the body is taken for cremation.
I broke down. Pretty bad. I lost my mind, and started complaining to God that he did that one thing I asked him not to. How could he just take away the person I loved so much. I have amazing memories with my grandfather. He meant a lot to me. A lot.
I cried myself to sleep. An hour later I got up, still crying and my father came into the room. The first tym in 21 years of my life I saw him cry that day. The words he said still echo in my mind. He said, “Nayan, he left us all. He is gone. Why.. Why is he gone”. Just couldn’t take that. I cried really hard (just like I’m crying rn). I again cried myself to sleep not knowing how to react to all this. After a while my mother woke me up and asked me to see his body the last time. I refused. It was a hard no. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.
She literally dragged me to the other room where he was kept with the body covered in white sheets, only his face was visible. I just saw a glimpse and ran back to my room. Not knowing what to do, I just laid in my bed the entire day crying NON-STOP. I didn’t stop for the next 2 or 3 days.
Then gradually time flied and here we are today. 6 years later I’m a grown women now. He would be proud of me coz I’m proud to be his grand daughter. I know he is watching me from above and blessing me. I still cry a lot because I lost him. We all lost a kind person, a loving father, an amazing grandfather, an army officer and a pure soul. I love him from my heart and soul. I miss him more than anything. But knowing he is in a better and peaceful place now, makes me happy.
That’s me with my grandfather. I miss you so much!
Every year this day, we prepare a grand lunch which includes all his favourite dishes. We celebrate his presence and pray to God to give us strength to bear this loss. May the soul of the faithfully departed rest in peace.
RIP My hero!
Until next time Adiós amigos.
If you spend a lot of time on tasks like writing, content creation, designing, and digital art, Let me help you save time. Let’s finish the work faster and in a more efficient manner. Click to see what you can expect- MY WORK!
Connect with me: nayankatyal@mindoomph.com
I have finally launched my NEWSLETTER, where you can now receive UPDATES ON MY NEW BLOGS via EMAIL. In addition, you will receive SUGGESTIONS AND LEARNINGS FROM NEW SELF HELP PODCASTS, PRODUCTIVITY BOOKS, and much more. Subscribe to be a part of the “MINDFUL Club.” ⬇️
Sign Up for the Newsletter! – MindOomph
